I remember seeing this film on TBS or something when I was younger and just thinking, "This is the weirdest, most nonsensical film ever." After watching it last night, I followed plot much better, but I wonder if that was the intention of the film. This action-adventure mixed with science fiction comes off almost as a David Lynch-esque mainstream attempt; almost as if they wanted to confuse the viewer with all of the mix-ups over 'memory implants' and who Schwarzenegger really is, but at the same time not so much that people couldn't follow or that the film wouldn't flop. (It didn't.) Overall, a lot of really cool special effects and violence make the film enjoyable to watch.
****
Maybe it's because I'm a sucker for films from the 80's and 90's or because I'm a sucker for story elements involving fantasy, but Last Action Hero floored me either way. Although the viewer gets a typical Schwarzenegger performance, this film about an action film sports tons of exciting moments and seat-clenching scenes. Try it, then buy it.
*****
Almost the defining textbook example of an excellent space adventure 80's movie, The Last Starfighter also incorporates video games into this incredible story of a normal kid from a trailer park who finds out his name is written in the record book AND in the stars. The film doesn't disappoint at all any time during its 101 minute run time. I highly recommend it if you're into nerdy s**t like I am.
*****
Packed with an incredible cast, (Jack Black, Glenn Close, Natalie Portman, Jack Nicholson, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Sarah Jessica Parker, Martin Short, Michael J. Fox, and Christina Applegate) Mars Attacks! shines brightly even with the dark undertones from director Tim Burton. Not meant to be taken too seriously, the film provides plenty of interesting sub-plots and skin-vaporizing action sequences.
***1/2
This movie should come with a caution label, but that would be all too unacceptable for surrealistic director, David Lynch. In his mystery-esque thriller Mulholland Drive, a non-linear story/series of events is presented for the viewer not even to interpret fully, but just to observe and wonder, 'What the f**k is going on?'. A little longer, but overall not bad. I bet if you threw a couple back during the film, your brain wouldn't hurt as much as mine did.
***1/2
Pee-Wee Herman was a icon for children that you either loved or hated. Mostly, this decision depends on whether you were introduced to him before or after Paul Reubens was caught masturbating in an adult theater in 1991 and arrested on charges of possession of child pornography in 2001. Either way, I vote we look past both of those disgusting, if not eye-opening circumstances and instead examine the film masterpiece that is Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. In Tim Burton's full-length film debut, he doesn't come close to disappointing with all of Pee-Wee's wacky run-ins and catch phrases. Plus, with the infamous bike/movie set chase scene at the end, how could the movie contain any bad elements? Answer: Danny Elfman scored the soundtrack.
*****
Wow. Maybe you've heard about 'Battlefield Earth' before because it's been noted as possibly one of the worst flops/movies ever. What sucks is I watched all two hours of it before I came to the same conclusion. This adaptation of L. Ron Hubbard's novel doesn't really help Scientology out as far as support from the public goes. I mean, if everybody already thinks your religion sounds super fake/science fiction-ish and then someone tries to make a movie that's not even a decent attempt at a science fiction movie, you're f**ked. Also, this movie stars John Travolta, Forrest Whitaker, and at one point Jimmy Fallon. Enough said.
1/2*
Upon first glance and the fact that I remember seeing this movie on USA all the time as a child, it would be appropriate to say that I had low expectations for 'Tremors'. I was banking on a textbook Kevin Bacon performance to lift it out of the crap category. Not only did I get textbook Bacon, I got a Reba McEntire that was actually tolerable AND cheap, but fun to watch gore.
****
This documentary about the race to the top of the Donkey Kong scoreboard. Although kind-of interesting, especially if you enjoy video games, the film mostly centers around a school-girl like drama between credibility of scores between the characters the film centers on: Billy Mitchell (Champion since 1980's) and Steve Wiebe (Laid off challenger).
***
I've always been a fan of the fantasy genre, but when within the first five minutes of the movie I was informed that the great heroes of the movie would be a midget and Val Kilmer, I almost turned it off. This isn't even mentioning that it was directed by Ron Howard (Ritchie Cunningham in Happy Days). I should have stuck with the old proverb about 'Don't judge a book by it's cover' because even though this wasn't a book, it proved to be a very good film.
****1/2
Just when you thought one puppetmaker was bad enough, Jim Henson (The Muppets) and Frank Oz (The Wizard Of Oz) team up to create the ultimate puppet-fantasy film of the 80's (with the exception maybe being Labyrinth). Ignoring that sometimes a character speaks and the puppet's mouth remains unmoved, the storyline is excellent and all of the wacky creatures provide a pleasant and intriguing backdrop for a viewer.
*****
Although I admit a movie with a red-headed, freckle covered, devil child protagonist looked to be more than appealing to me, Problem Child delivered what I should have expected from a movie delivered by 1991. I chuckled a lot at all of the antics, but actual laughing was barely achieved. Highlights include John Ritter, Gilbert Gottfried, and Michael Richards.
**1/2
Your quintessential John Hughes family heartwarmer, John Candy doesn't disappoint or break from the mold in Uncle Buck. Also starring MacCully Culkin before he started coke (That's actually just an assumption, see: Drew Barrymore) and Jean Louisa Kelly who I only recognize because my mom would watch her on the less than entertaining CBS sitcom 'Yes, Dear'. Uncle Buck brought laughs appropriate for all ages and jokes with undertones for more mature audiences. At the end of the movie, you'll realize that your mother or father's brother is either as cool as our protagonist or just creepy.
****
Writing a non-biased review for a film about professional wrestling and directed by the infamous Darren Aronofsky (Requiem For A Dream, π) could prove to be tough, but endure my attempt. I suppose you'd have to ask an older wash-up professional wrestler, but the story throughout the film presents an entertaining and believable depiction of life for someone who's foot fits that boot. Everyone delivers a good performance, (Yes, even Evan Rachel Wood post-Marilyn Manson) and on a more personal note (going back to my love for professional wrestling), the film does a great job of showing what goes on backstage before a professional wrestling match. This could turn out to be my favorite film of the year.
*****
Kind-of interesting, but surprisingly not any funnier if you're high when you watch it. Also, the supporting cast of sub-par comedians and they're equally sub-par jokes left me asking myself every few minutes, 'Why am I still watching this?'. An upside would be you do get to see a lot of different strains of weed.
**
Drawing influence from the Battle Of Cunaxa (circa 401 B.C.), The Warriors was a great new-age adaptation of the classic, courageous story. When the leader of the largest gang in NYC brings all of the gangs to one spot in hope of unification, a member of a gang assassinates him in cold blood. When the assailant notices a member of The Warriors saw him shoot, he shouts to the heavens that 'The Warriors did it!', leaving The Warriors to get all the way back across New York City avoiding cops and every other gang on the way. Although it hit screens in 1978, fight sequences and attitudes aren't dubbed-up, leaving me feeling with adjectives like 'raw' and 'haggard'. A non-groggy plot line plus interesting synth-fueled background score equals a strong recommendation.
*****
Textbook 80's cult-classic, specifically 'comedic horror'. Plenty of pointless female nudity and absolutely brutal fatalities. A good movie to watch with other people.
***1/2
.JPG)
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